Before I came to know Jesus, I was raised in a Christian home with two Christian parents. I often spent time with my father's parents who were also Christian. I had attended church with my parents and understood that Jesus was God's son and He was born in a manger, died on a cross, and rose again. Mostly however I was a typical boy, with little sense of being good, what you did to avoid being punished, or being bad, what you did when you got punished.  

During that time, I attended what our church called "Junior Church" run by two patient women while the adults were in the regular church service. One day in junior church when I was around 6 or 7, they talked about why Jesus had come to earth, why He had to die and how important it was that He rose again.

They told me that the Bible says that after God created the world, including man, man sinned, bringing sin into the world and separating us from God. That separation due to sin would become permanent at our death as we would be condemned to hell, a real place of punishment, torment, and separation from God.

At that point, as a child, they had my attention. I knew I didn't want to go to hell and if Jesus was the way to keep out of there I was all in. The women went on to explain that the Bible also says that God wants to be able to have a relationship with us again, but the sin needed paid-for. The punishment for sin is death, so He sent His only Son Jesus to die in our place, satisfying the payment. After He died, He rose again 3 days later conquering death itself. We just need to accept what Jesus already did for us.

I asked God to forgive my sins that day and accepted the gift of His son Jesus to pay for them.

I don't know how much my life changed to those around me, but on that day, God put His hand on me. While I still struggled with sin and temptation, there was always God providing people in my life when I needed them for spiritual reassurance. He also provided checkpoints, for lack of a better word, in my life when He asked: "Are you going to serve me now?"

The most real time that occurred was working a summer job at a graphite electrode plant. I was working with the plant's bricklayers one day and found myself alone in the mortar shed. That day I felt the Holy Spirit on me like never before, saying: "You served me as a child, now will you serve me as an adult?" My answer was, "Yes!".

From that point on, I could sense God directing my path. He made me discontented in my career choice, providing a clear direction for where to turn. He gave me a wife with whom I have shared many life changes and challenges. He removed me out of my stunted spiritual situation and challenged me to see Him anew and to see things like He does. I find the more I obey Him, the more He brings my way.

Seeds, seeds are dead. They look dead yet they are full of potential life. I am fascinated with seeds. A fully thriving plant must die in order to produce a seed, in turn that seed lays dormant until such a time that it is nurtured with moisture and warmth in the right environment, which allows life to grow. People like seeds have seasons, and must die to self, in order to be a fruit, or rather produce the seeds for the next generation of life. V
In a lifetime, we have many seasons, some longer than others. Some seasons are clear in purpose with what to do. Others not so readily visible. Perhaps in what appears to be a dormant season, he is giving us as an opportunity to slow down a bit and rest more in God's presence with prayer and reflection.

I wrote this particular testimony in 2004 - yes 20 years ago when I was in leadership at MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) and while my testimony of the past has not changed, my current season has. Now an empty nester, my purpose and focus is less obvious to me and yet I do have more time to be still in God's presence:

MOUNTAINS AND VALLEYS
(an abbreviated autobiography; i.e. MOPS testimony-2004)

NAIVE: I was this naive kid.. Basically did well in school, had friends, read books all the time. Then about 8th grade a friend of a friend introduced me to "the wrong crowd" during some snow days. I was the epitome of the phrase "if you stand for nothing you'll fall for everything" so my new friends and I smoked, drank, stole, skipped school.

ARGUMENT: I got in an argument with my best buddies and they dropped me just as fast as they had drawn me into their crowd. I was now a loner.

SAVED: But a quiet girl in PE class and her family befriended me and brought me to church. I got saved, I got excited, and I got mocked. My mom despised anything to do with church and religion.

MOVED: So I moved to NY with my dad and his catholic wife. I briefly walked with Jesus, then dropped him in a box and forgot him as I found new friends. I did the normal high school stuff, ran track, hung out at football games and bon fires, went to prom - all with a clean cut group who didn't smoke or drink. No temptation.

COLLEGE: I graduated high school and was ready for my "adult" life to begin. I was out of there and ready to leave it all behind. My first weekend a bunch of other freshman girls in my dorm and I were invited to a fraternity party. Beer, boys and no restrictions. Yep, I partied, did well in school. I was an independent adult.

SURPRISE: Pregnant, I graduated early in December of '93 and became a single mom in May '94.

SUPERWOMAN: I was a woman of the 90's. I was in control, I was a devoted mom, ambitious teacher, I lived with a man, and we got married, bought a house, the American dream 1990's style. I was driven to do it all and all I needed was coffee, lots of coffee.

CHANGE OF PERSPECTIVE: I thought these were the highlights of my history. Then a coworker named Cindy, quirky, funny, and way behind on her paperwork, befriended me. She confessed her shortcomings, gave credit to God for all of her successes, and ate lots of junk food with me as we worked together. She was the hands and feet of Jesus.

BEHIND THE SCENES: What I didn't know is that at work there was this group of women who met each day at lunch to pray together and they had me on their prayer list.

CHURCH: So one day out of the blue, so I thought, I had this notion to attend this church not far from my house. My husband, boasting his open mindedness, said sure, why not. I went, I had to go back. I wanted the Jesus that Cindy had. I wanted to know more. I got baptized, rededicated my life to Christ and joined a bible study. My husband and family figured this would wear off, after all I had a history of changing lifestyles.

REALITY: It's been 6 years and here I am. I can't say that I've always been as on fire for the Lord as I was when I first got baptized. I have lots of ups and downs, inconsistencies in my prayer life and frankly I still have episodes of doubt, but I don't ever want to run away from God again. I tried not to spend too much time on the details of my BC life, but slowly and in God's perfect timing, I have had a lot of old baggage to wade through. (Doesn't everyone?!)

MARRIAGE: For example, I honestly had no clue about marriage and relationships when I got married. We were married for a year before we even discussed things like finances, parenting, and comparing what our priorities are. In my first year of marriage, I hated my husband. I despised being married and I was angry. I didn't realize it, but God was beginning to sort through those locked & broken, places in my heart. I prayed so much I was compelled to join the prayer team. I'm trying to give you the condensed version, so minus the details I would have left my husband, except the Lord put this desire in my heart to have a baby and be a stay at home mom (yeah, me the independent, career woman) And I began to look at my husband with love and I started to let him know about my complete lack of knowledge in the relationship department. 9/11 my first MOPS meeting, and I needed all the information I could get about relationships, family and God's direction on how to live. I was a sponge and Margaret Ann's talks felt like they were directed right at my heart. The love languages book was just what I needed. I had no clue how to attempt purposefully developing a relationship with anyone, let alone my husband. God brought be closer to my husband then opened my eyes that I was clueless as a wife partly because I had no role model from my own dad.

DAD: I had dropped contact with my dad in college much like he dropped me when he left my mom. I had no relationship with him. He has baggage I still don't think he's aware of, but God really put this strong desire in my heart to make amends with my dad and one day after much prayer I called him on the phone. I tried to have this normal conversation as if we always chatted on the phone and for the next 2 years or so I visited him whenever a cousin of mine in NY got married. I tried and expected us to have this normal father - daughter relationship. I think I've forgiven my dad for deserting me and never really having anything to do with me, but I haven't ever really talked with him about any of that. So God slowly showed me that what I really was wanting was my dad's acceptance and I wanted my dad to pursue a relationship with me, but that wasn't happening. I've let that relationship lie for now.

REVELATION: So normally when I share my testimony I talk about how I rebelled in Jr. high, got saved, ran away from God, rebelled more in college and when I supposedly had it all, God called me back, I always wondered did I really get saved that first time and I sometimes worry will I drop Jesus again like I did before? But recently God opened my eyes a little more and said to me "I let you go after you got saved because you needed to know that I was pursuing you all the time and that I always wanted you for my child even when you didn't want me."

I grew up in Tampa, Florida, attending a Bible believing church with my family every time the doors were open. My parents were very active in several ministries in our church. Since I grew up in church I was familiar with the Bible and Bible stories I heard in Sunday School. I was encouraged in my family to be a good girl and obey my parents and such. When I was about 6 years old, and we were having communion at church, I questioned what was going on. After the service, I was counseled by my Sunday School teacher who explained what communion was about and then about salvation. I prayed that night and made a profession of faith and about a year later I was baptized.

Years later, in my early teen years, we started attending a different church with an active youth group and solid Bible preaching. There came a time when I started having very vivid nightmares about dying and falling into a never ending pit. This became a frequent recurring dream that really frightened me to the point that I was afraid to go to sleep. I was also scared because I really didn't remember details of my salvation experience and I wasn't sure if they were just details that my parents had repeated to me over the years or my own memories. I didn't want to walk down the isle in a church since everyone thought I was already a Christian. I didn't want to talk to my parents because I thought they would just recount my previous experience and tell me I was fine. This went on for several weeks until I couldn't stand it any longer and couldn't think about anything other than whether I was really saved or not. So, on New Years Day of 1978, I went forward during the invitation, and was counseled by my Sunday school teacher. She shared the plan of salvation with me and asked me to pray. Two weeks later, I was baptized. This was monumental for me because I was sure of where my heart and mind was when I made this decision. I didn't have any more nightmares. And I was sure of my commitment to the Lord. I don't know that my behavior was very different after my salvation since I was a compliant child but my heart was very different.

I was very active in my youth group, which was helpful in my spiritual growth and provided good opportunities of fellowship with other Christian teens. This was vital since I attended public school. I'm sure that being involved in my church led me to want to attend a Christian college where I later met my husband and surrendered to full time Christian service and missions.

The testimony of how I came to trust in Christ:

I was born and raised a Roman Catholic in Denver Colorado in 1954. Having followed all of the protocol and required catechism of the church I received my first communion, then confirmation. I applied to become an altar boy and was accepted, then became the head altar boy at approximately 14 years of age. I had aspirations of becoming a priest, but changed my mind through puberty. I became a mediocre Catholic. My attention turned to the world.

My older brother, who I looked very much up to, died in an accident when I was 16; he was 20. I became bitter and skeptical. I questioned why God would take him so young and it scared me that he might not make it into heaven; I knew how he lived. Our family was devastated and were just existing. Nobody was going to church. My father moved us all to San Diego.

It was in San Diego that I met my beautiful Mary. Looking back, I know that God put her in my path. I remember that, in my wildness, thinking that she would be a wonderful mother to my children, that she would be a stable force for me. We dated a few years then married when I was 21 and she was 19. She was raised Catholic as well.

We immediately moved to Bakersfield, CA to begin our life together. I remember that we looked for and found a Christian church and began to attend. We both bought graded Bibles and began to read. It was not long after that we drove down to visit our families. We were excited to tell them about our new church and what we were learning only to have my mother cut us off and tell us that we would go to hell if we went outside the Catholic Church. No amount of debate would sway her, so we returned to Bakersfield rather deflated. We fell away from that church.

After a few years we moved back to San Diego and had our first daughter. We named her Danielle after my brother, Dan. It was about this time that we learned that my mother, a manic depressive, had begun to look into forms of spirituality for healing that I was not familiar with. There was table tipping, spirit calling, crystals, Hare Krishna, Hinduism, fortune telling, tarot cards, etc. My two sisters and remaining brother were into it with her and excited to share with us what they were learning. So we went. So we listened. So we allowed ourselves to be deceived.

We read books, went to spiritual retreats, we prayed, we chanted, we raised our daughters in it, our oldest daughter was married into Hinduism. It all seemed like love, peace and God. The convincing piece for me was reincarnation. It explained how we all are as God is and how we, not God, control the experience of the lives we lead, how there is no eternal consequence, how ultimately we are masters of our own creation, and how we ultimately come to spiritual bliss in the God Head. We did this for years and I was happy, not so much in the Hinduism, but in the "law" of reincarnation. It did solve the condition of my brother's death.

My father, raised Catholic, remained ambivalent to all that went on in his house. He didn't support it, nor did he forbid it. Eventually he returned to the Catholic Church and was faithful unto his death. My mother was surrounded by Jesus Christ and all of her beloved Hindu idols unto her death two years later.
 
I suppose it was then that I began to contrast multiple concepts of eternity. In addition to Hinduism, there was also the New Age "COEXIST" movement which allows that all religions are of the same or equal gods and that all religions therefore, result in eternal bliss in heaven or the equivalent. That all love is good love, that we are free to choose our own spiritual path as though a buffet. This is the origin of the "one's own truth" false doctrine. The Holy Spirit was giving me discernment; leading me back to true Christianity... I just didn't know it yet.

As the years rolled on I became numb, yet my heart yearned for God. As the lines between good and evil blurred in our culture, the God of my youth pulled me. Good had to be more than an unexplained, unfounded, subjective general ethos. It had to be more than a political movement. Good had to be an objective moral standard outside of the human experience provided by a high, holy, and solitary God. So again, the Holy Spirit made it clear to me; moved me to action.

We were devastated by the 2008 financial crisis. I struggled with our dilemma for months until finally discussing it with Mary. I announced to her that we needed to get out of California..... she agreed. We sold our house, closed our businesses, packed up our belongings and arrived in North Carolina 45 days later. It took another three months to find Hickory.

My oldest daughter, Danielle, has remained Hindu. My middle daughter, Dominique, has no allegiance; to anything. My youngest daughter, Elysia, for reasons only known to God, found herself a church at age eight, got herself baptized, read the Bible, always found occasion to gently tell her angry father about Christ  She maintained her purity and was married to a man who did as well. How does this happen in a house devoid of a Christian life style? The Holy Spirit clearly worked on me through her without ceasing especially in the last 14 years of my life. The Bible says that there will always be a remnant.

At last I could be away from what I perceived to be evil in California; although it meant separation from my daughters and our family. Mary started going to an array of local churches. I started reading the Bible. She found a Baptist church in Mountain View and I began to go with her as my work schedule permitted. It was during this first few years at church that we began to attend Bible study and it was during this time that I woke up one night with an epiphany. God had revealed in my heart that reincarnation is simply a restating of the serpent's tempt in the garden. That if we ignore the commandment of God, we can be God; and by being God, we can operate outside the accountability of His judgement and be subject to only our own. Thus the Spirit revealed the most egregious form of idolatry, the one I had been guilty of, making oneself equal to God.

It was at this Baptist church that we heard a sermon on the importance of being baptized as an assenting adult through immersion. Immediately after the sermon we looked at each other and said, "We need to get dunked!" We arranged with the paster to get baptized, not realizing that this also meant that we were joining the church. The pastor met with us in our home and laid out all that baptism meant, what the church's non-negotiables were, we agreed, and we were baptized into Jesus Christ.

We left that church when they, from the pulpit, ignored the moral issues at hand in the then upcoming presidential elections; advising the congregation to stay quiet and stay home. I humbly submitted letters of calmly stated inquiry to both the co-pastor and pastor, but received no response. We left. God has put it on our heart to speak good to evil, especially in a representative republic where we are responsible to respond as a government for the people by the people. It is my conviction that there is always a reason to vote because there is always a greater evil on the ballot. When we are self-righteous to the point of allowing evil to occur through our action or inaction, we propagate that evil through willful negligence.

My daughter gave us a website that identified Biblical churches and it was there that we found Vertical Life where we hope to pursue His word and share it with the community and beyond.

I love Jesus Christ. I am grateful for God's persistent grace. I remain humbled by my Creator who had no need to save one such as I, yet gave His Son in the ultimate sacrifice and resurrection for my salvation. Why; because he loves me even while I will never be worthy of Him. Praise the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost; the triune, one and only perfect God; the Creator of all things. By the grace of God and faith in Jesus Christ; I am saved!

When I was 10 years old at a revival meeting at New Life Baptist Church I felt the Holy Spirit call to me in a message by Grady Parker on our need for God. I remember going to school the next day and telling everyone about God and how he had changed my life. "I now have the Holy Spirit living inside of me! I do not boast because it is nothing that I have done."

God is so good! He has been with me through everything good and bad in my life - He is my strength. He answers prayers. My mother came to Christ when she was 59 and I never thought that could happen. She made such a transformation and we were able to have a restored relationship. I see God's goodness and grace everywhere in my life.

I have found the older I have become the more I lean on His word and promises. Reading the following in in 1 Peter 2 stands out to me, "Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and deceit, hypocrisy, envy and slander of every kind." Reading God's word encourages me, guides me, and more importantly, I have become closer to God

I came to Christ at a younger age. In my early teens. I just felt a heavy heart one day and felt led to seek out my pastor and make it happen. God saving a sinner like me is hard to understand, but God's grace is sufficient. 

I have not been the best example every day of my life as sin always seems to creep back in somehow. I started trying harder when I met the Fosters and became a brother in Christ with them. Don't get me wrong I still have a lot of issues to work through every day but it seems the Lord puts the right people in our lives to help along the way. My wife of over 40 years has always been a good daily example as long as I can remember. She is a constant reminder of what I should be, not what I am. I hope to continue to improve as I have finally found my home and church at Vertical Life Church.

I've been saved for many years but my real eye opener is when my mom passed away in 11/2021. I felt lost and alone. No one around me could understand the amount of pain my heart was feeling. I just needed to get away from this pain. Run from it and make it go away. Nothing worked. I cried out to Jesus so many times. Begged him to bring me the comfort I knew that only he could bring. Nothing. I heard nothing and felt nothing. I couldn't understand where God was. Why He wasn't listening. Here I was broken and falling apart and I couldn't find Him. So many nights I lay crying and begged God, yet he was silent. I couldn't see then that He was carrying me. This went on for around 9 months. I went through all the motions. I went to
work and then school 2 nights a week to keep myself occupied, but I was drowning.

During the past year and 9 months we found out our oldest son had kidney cancer. They were able to go in and remove the one tumor and as of right now he is ok.  He goes every few months for a follow-up and is going to ask for a pet scan at his next appointment because of my cancer.

Praise God for his healing touch on his body!

I began to think about suicide. I prayed about this because I knew it was wrong and selfish. But I just couldn't see any other way out. All I knew was that I needed to get away from this pain I was feeling. So I came up with a plan to do just that.

After my son had surgery, I was coming home on Monday morning, I was still during this time, crying out to God to take this spirit from me. I still heard nothing and felt nothing.

That very Sunday morning sitting in Church, I still couldn't understand why God hadn't moved but at the end of service God pulled me to that altar and I'll never forget that day! God delivered me from that spirit of Suicide, Right there at that alter, at that very moment. I actually saw that black spirit flee out the side door. I will never expect someone else to believe what I saw but I know God was there and made that demon flee in His name! God revealed himself to me so Big that day and I haven't been the Same since!!  Not in my heart or mind.

My life was forever changed by what God has done!

I've been saved for many years but my real eye opener is when my mom passed away in 11/2021. I felt lost and alone. No one around me could understand the amount of pain my heart was feeling. I just needed to get away from this pain. Run from it and make it go away. Nothing worked. I cried out to Jesus so many times. Begged him to bring me the comfort I knew that only he could bring. Nothing. I heard nothing & felt nothing. I couldn't understand where God was. Why He wasn't listening. Here I was broken and falling apart + I couldn't find Him. So many nights I lay cried and begged God, yet he was silent. I couldn't see then that He was carrying me. This went on for around 9 months. I went through all the motions. Went to
work & then school 2 nights a week to keep myself occupied... But I was drowning.

During this year and 9 months we found out our oldest son had kidney cancer. They were able to go in and remove the one tumor and as of right now he is ok.  He goes every few months for a follow-up and is going to ask for a pet scan at his next appointment because of my cancer.

Praise God for his healing touch on his body!

I began to think about suicide. I prayed about this because I knew it was wrong and selfish. I just couldn't see any other way out. All I knew was that I just needed to get away from this pain I was feeling. So I came up with a plan.

After my son had surgery I was coming home on Monday morning. I was still during this time, crying out to God to take this spirit from me. I heard nothing and felt nothing. That very Sunday morning sitting in Church, I still couldn't understand why God hadn't moved.

At the end of service God pulled me to that altar and I'll never forget that day. God delivered me from that spirit of suicide, right there at that alter, at that very moment! I actually saw that black spirit flee out the side door. I will never expect someone else to believe what I saw, but I know God was there and made that demon flee in His name! God revealed himself to me so Big that day!! I haven't been the Same since!!  Not in my heart or mind. My life was forever changed by what He was done!